Nation Outraged As Cows Shot Six Months Before They Were Due To Be Slaughtered

Nation Outraged As Cows Shot Six Months Before They Were Due To Be Slaughtered

The Irish people are outraged following the army’s murder of five cows just six months before they were due to be sent to the slaughterhouse.

According to the farmer who raised the cattle, his cows were shot dead by officers due to unpaid debts. It is unclear just what the cows were doing borrowing money in the first place.

The nation has expressed its disapproval of the decision to shoot the cows, who just weren’t plump enough to be killed yet.

Speaking to SatIrish Press this morning, one animal rights activist said:

“It’s absolutely disgusting that the army can just choose when they want to kill an animal like that. Those cows weren’t ready to be slaughtered, why couldn’t they have waited six months for them to be all fat and juicy?”

The Irish wing of PETA released a similar statement, calling the killings “barbaric” and admonishing the government for causing “far too much anguish and not nearly enough Angus”.

An online petition demanding the prosecution of those involved in the shooting has already reached half a million signatures, which would matter if online petitions were of any actual importance.

There was also another gangland shooting in Dublin, but that’s not important.

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Terry Norman is a comedian.

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