Dublin Bus Junkie Wins Fiver On Scratchcard

Dublin Bus Junkie Wins Fiver On Scratchcard

A well-known Dublin Bus junkie is today celebrating his good fortune after he won the €5 jackpot on a National Lottery All Cash scratchcard.

The news comes just days after a crew of Dublin Bus employees won €24 million in Friday’s Euromillions.

The junkie, known only as “Dano”, has been riding in the back of Dublin Bus buses since dropping out of Trinity College in 2010. For the past six years, he has been making passengers uncomfortable with his open drug use and incessant talking on his Nokia phone.

Dano found the scratchcard on the floor of a bus while searching for a bobbin. Though he could not wrap the scratch card around his bicep, the junkie decided to hold onto it. It was not until this morning that he found a coin with which to scratch it.

He was so surprised to see the result of his scratchcard that he spat out his Dutch Gold.

Much like his colleagues, Dano plans to continue showing up for work despite his newfound wealth.

“Sure I owe it to the people of Dublin,” the junkie told a number of RTÉ journalists earlier today. “What is a Dublin Bus journey without a junkie asking ya’ for a bita change? It’s part of the experience.”

Dano then gave the RTÉ employees their cocaine and they went on their way.

It is unclear what he intends to do with his fiver, but those close to Dano say he is planning to get himself a nice hostel in the country.

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Terry Norman is a comedian.

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