Following Britain’s decision to leave the European Union, EU leaders have announced their plans to build a replacement United Kingdom, one “with blackjack and hookers”.
News broke early this morning of Britain’s decision to leave, with 52% voting in favour of the so-called “Brexit”.
While there is much jubilation in the UK, the EU is taking the loss pretty bad.
“Fine. Good riddance. We don’t need you anyway,” said European Commission President Jean-Caude Juncker. “We’ll build our own United Kingdom, with blackjack and hookers.”
Added Juncker: “And none of you will be allowed in because we’ll deny your visa applications.”
It is unclear who put forth this idea, but reports say the blackjack and hookers part was suggested by European Parliament member Luke ‘Ming’ Flanagan.
Britain is already experiencing the repercussions of the leave vote, and has seen a drastic decrease the value of tolerance.
Prime Minister David Cameron has already announced his plans to step down, possibly because he wants to be leader of the EU’s United Kingdom. However, he may reconsider when he finds out the hookers in question will be human.
It is unclear just what countries will make up the EU’s new United Kingdom, but early reports suggest they’re just going to rename Amsterdam.