Guy With Broad Shoulders Extremely Popular At Coachella

Guy With Broad Shoulders Extremely Popular At Coachella

A broad-shouldered twenty-something-year-old has become the centre of attention at the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival.

Zach Dawson arrived at the festival two days ago, hoping to hear some good music and hook up with some free-spirited women. While the former is pretty difficult to do at Coachella, Dawson has proven very popular with the female revellers and has spent the past forty-eight hours literally picking up chicks.

So far, Dawson has held over two hundred daisy-chained women on his powerful shoulders and has refilled almost one thousand plastic red cups with vodka.

Girls hoping they're on the guest list for Dawson's shoulders.
Girls hoping they’re on the guest list for Dawson’s shoulders.

While there is no shortage of ladies who want to jump on the young man’s shoulders, Dawson is having a hard time finding one to jump on any other part of his body.

“Bro, this is not going how I thought it was gonna go,” Dawson confessed to a friend while the girl atop his shoulders flashed her breasts for everyone but him to see. “I thought I’d get more pussy than I could eat.”

In an attempt to cheer his buddy up, Dawson’s friend reminded him that he has gotten plenty of pussy, just at the back of his neck.

While Coachella has developed something of a reputation as a hub of drugs and alcohol, Dawson’s carrying duties have prevented him from taking part in any such merriment.

However, he will likely be able to get some medicinal marijuana for the back problems he is certain to experience in a couple of years.

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Terry Norman is a comedian.

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