Last night’s Irish Country Music Awards was declared a resounding failure after the judges failed to pick a winner of the ‘Best Artist’ award.
The ceremony was produced by RTÉ in an attempt to create something as entertaining as ‘The Late Late Show’, which is on hiatus. Those close to the situation say it was a toss-up between the awards show and two hours of static.
RTÉ officials had to make another difficult decision when it came to the host of the show. Daniel O’Donnell narrowly beat out Irish country legend Eoin McLove to score the gig.
The first hour of the ceremony passed without incident. An old man who sang ‘Folsom Prison Blues’ at a karaoke night last year claimed six awards while somebody’s drunken aunt won seven.
However, things went awry when it came to announcing the winner of the big award.
“And the award for Best Artist goes to…” said Marty Whelan, or Miriam O’Callaghan, or one of that crowd. “Nobody.”
The presenter went on to explain that everybody involved in Irish country music is just so shockingly atrocious that they could not, in good conscience, give any of them the award.
The award will now be locked away in the RTÉ vault until someone who deserves it comes along. Also in the vault are props from ‘Wanderly Wagon’, the pilot script of ‘Love/Hate’, and the key used to power Brendan O’Connor.
Many critics are shocked by RTÉ’s refusal to declare a winner of the award, mainly because they have never been concerned with quality before.