NFL Draft: WorkBot3458 Impresses at Pro Day

NFL Draft: WorkBot3458 Impresses at Pro Day



– Strong Arm
– Good presence in the pocket
– High I.Q.
– Quick Release

– Completely Immobile
– Has to be carried on and off the field by teammates
– May kill receivers
– Can often overthrow the ball by literal Miles


It has really been a whirlwind season for WorkBot3458. At the start of the 2013 College football season he was a little known assembly line worker at a local automotive manufacturer. However after injury to the Michigan IT star quarterback Tyson Splashlog he was convinced to go down to the open try outs by his father WorkBot3457. WorkBot3458’s father had a short lived career in the NFL with the Green Bay Packers which ended in disaster after he threw a ball so hard at receiver Myles Catchings that it punctured a hole right through his chest.

WorkBot3458 performed so well at the open trials that the college gave him a full scholarship and named him their new starting QB. He led the “Motorheads” to an 11-5 season record with 3,978 passing yards and 27 touchdowns, earning himself the nickname “The Machine”. More worrying though were the NCAA record 75 sacks he took and 39 interceptions he threw as he struggled to evade the defense.

In spite of his obvious flaws some team will have to take a shot on the upside of having a quarterback capable of making all the throws on the field. As of right now we have WorkBot3458 projected as a late round pick going to the one team known for taking gutsy risks on players, the Oakland Raiders.



About The Author

"A wealthy Journalist, industrialist, philanthropist and, uh, bicyclist" Mark grew up with a golden spoon in his mouth. At a young age his parents both died. His mother perished in a bizarre gardening accident and his father spontaneously combusted whilst playing a Blues/Jazz festive on the Isle of Lucy (Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year, it’s just not widely reported). He was left to fend for himself. With nothing more than the clothes on his back and a multi-million dollar trust fund. Mark worked his way up in the world and by the age of 25 was able to spell the entire word supercalifragilisticexpialidocious with only one spell check. When we asked Mark about his hopes the future he just replied automatic sliding doors in domestic houses and the invention of a cheese grater that can be cleaned with a sponge without cutting the sponge into little pieces. In the meantime he can’t think of anything better to do than write hard hitting news for the SatIrish Press and for its readers, who he holds in such high contempt.

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