Oscar Pistorious is today wishing that he had just been investigated by the FBI team responsible for looking into Hillary Clinton’s email irregularities.
Pistorious, noted guy with no legs, was today sentenced to six years in a South African prison for the murder of his girlfriend in 2013. Pistorious’ legal team have said it is an absolute outrage for the man to be found guilty, especially when he isn’t even black.
The former olympian has not been telling friends that he wishes he had never murder Reva Steemkamp, but rather that he wishes he had done so in America, so he would only have to deal with the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
Yesterday afternoon, the FBI announced that they would not be recommending charges be brought against Hillary Clinton despite the fact she had been “extremely careless” with classified information.
Instead, Ms. Clinton was let off with a slap on the wrist and a warning to better cover up her corruption next time.
“Gee, I sure wish I had been investigated by those guys,” Pistorious said earlier today, “but no, I’m stuck with the goody-two-shoes, incorruptible South African legal system.”
It is unclear if Oscar Pistorious plans to resume his olympic career after being released from prison, but some sources say he intends to run for President of the United States of America.