Oscar Pistorius Admits to Being ‘Legless”

Oscar Pistorius Admits to Being ‘Legless”

In a dramatic turn of events, Oscar Pistorius had told the court the he was indeed ‘legless’ at the time of the shooting, although still insists that he is not guilty of murdering his then girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp.

For those of you living under a rock for the past year, Model Reeva Steenkamp was shot dead by boyfriend and double amputee, Oscar Pistorius. Mr. Pistorius admits to the shooting, but says he thought it was an intruder.

A SatIrish Press correspondent was tweeting me during the trial. Here are some brief excerpts:

“Can’t believe the mad fecker just told everyone he was legless. Sure if he was that drunk he wouldn’t know what he was doin’! Gas man!”

“His lawyer just asked the witness when she last heard the sound of gunshots and she went ‘ 14th of Feb 2013’ OMG LOL ROFL”

“Ooohh. His lawyer just said ‘Maybe is was Mr. Pistorius’ screams you heard?’ Ha! He just called Ozzy a girl!”

An expert in ballistics has confirmed Mr. Pistorius’ story that he was ‘legless’ at the time of Ms. Steenkamp’s death. It looks like shit is indeed going down during South Africa’s trial of the century.

In related news, Nike have released a statement saying “First Tiger Woods, then Lance Armstrong, and now Oscar Pistorius, we have decided to change our slogan to “Don’t Do It”.

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About The Author

Born in 1988, Paddy IrishGirl has had a natural talent for banter. She had a proven mentality of a 40-something year old at the age of 3 and a sense of humour so dry it would rival her husbands attempt of cooked chicken. Paddy IrishGirl has been rated as "The Funniest Comedian this side of the Atlantic"* and "The new Joan Rivers, without the horribly disfigured face of a trolls scrotum"* She spends her days devoting herself to her two kids, Broken Condom & The Forgotten Pill. *all quotes are from reliable sources and totally not made up by the author herself.

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