“Stone Cold” Nigel Farage Arrives, Raises Hell, Leaves

“Stone Cold” Nigel Farage Arrives, Raises Hell, Leaves

“Stone Cold” Nigel Farage this afternoon resigned from his post as leader of the UKIP party, thus fulfilling his mission statement of “Arrive, raise hell, leave”.

Nigel Farage took the reigns of the party in 2010 and immediately delivered two middle fingers to the progressive mindset which the United Kingdom had developed.

He spent the next six years shaking things up, effectively turning Britain into a circus where he played the ringmaster.

Farage’s crowning achievement during his time as UKIP leader was spearheading Britain’s exit from the EU.

The move, which he dubbed the “Stone Cold Brexit” has since made the UK the laughingstock of the world. This is particularly impressive considering America might soon be ruled by Donald Trump.

Speaking at a press conference today, Farage claimed that he had just “whopped the UK’s sorry ass”, but would not take any questions as he insisted that was “the bottom line”.

He also spent much of the interview referring to himself as “Farage 3:16”.

It is unclear just what the relevance of 3:16 is, but some suspect Farage was referencing the Pound’s value against the Euro.

Others have speculated that the now former UKIP leader was simply trying to give himself a nickname.

Farage has tried to give himself nicknames in the past. Just last year, he began calling himself “The Kentish Rattlesnake”. However, the British public shortened it to just “The Snake”.



About The Author

Terry Norman is a comedian.

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